I Just Got My First Bikini. It's

I Don't Think I Was Funny Until College. I Lived With Some Harvard Md/phd Students - They Were So Smart, And What I Contributed To The House Was, I Was The Funny One.

People Always Come Up To Me And Say That My Smoking Is Bothering Them....well It's Killing Me!

I Don't Like To Channel Surf. You Guys Like It, Don't You. You Guys Like To Change The Channel. We Like To Change You.

My Mom Was A Ventriloquist And She Always Was Throwing Her Voice. For Ten Years I Thought The Dog Was Telling Me To Kill My Father.

In Addition To Comedy, I'm A Writer. I Write Checks. They're Not Very Good.