I Have No Methods. All I Do

Comedy Is A Very Rough Beat. It's No Holds Barred, As It Should Be.

My Love Life Is Like A Piece Of Swiss Cheese; Most Of It's Missing, And What's There Stinks.

The Thing Is, I'm Happiest When I'm On Stage.

All My Friends Are Dying. That's Why I Always Wear Black.

There Are Many Self-help Books By Ph.d.s, But I Hold A Different Degree: An I.b.t.i.a.-i've Been Through It All. This Degree Comes Not On Parchment But Gauze, And It Entitles Me To Tell You That There Is A Way To Get Through Any Misfortune.