I Have Good Looking Kids. Thank Goodness

Men Who Do Things Without Being Told Draw The Most Wages.

Yeah, I Know I'm Ugly... I Said To A Bartender, 'make Me A Zombie.' He Said 'god Beat Me To It.'

My Uncle's Dying Wish - He Wanted Me On His Lap. He Was In The Electric Chair.

I Remember I Was So Depressed I Was Going To Jump Out A Window On The Tenth Floor; They Sent A Priest Up To Talk To Me And He Said, ' On Your Mark...'

She Was So Fat That Her Bikini Is Made Out Of Two Bed Sheets (king-size).