I Believe It Was Shakespeare Who Said,

I'm Handsome, No Ands, Buts Or Ifs.

Well, It Seems All The Fish In The Rivers Are Dying. Could This Be An Act Of Cod?

What If Hamsters Fought In The American Revolution?

Wives Live Longer Than Husbands Because They're Not Married To Women.

Rudolf The Red-nosed Reindeer, Dead At 53. Over Barcelona Today, The Famed Reindeer Was Hit By A Flock Of Seagulls And A 747. Eyewitnesses Report, That The Reindeer In Spain Was Hit Mainly By The Plane.