Rudolf The Red-nosed Reindeer, Dead At 53.

My Mother On Her Death Bed Told Me, 'where The Hell Did That Kangaroo Come From!?' - It Just Popped Out Of Nowhere And Punched Her In The Head And Caused A Cerebral Hemorrhage, So I Thought I'd Move To A Country Where There Were No Kangaroos!

I Believe It Was Shakespeare Who Said, 'all The World's A Stage, And You Are Crap!'

Wives Live Longer Than Husbands Because They're Not Married To Women.

Hi. There Was A Big Accident, Some People Got Decapitated, Here Are Their Names... You Know What? That Shirt Really Makes You Look Fat. I Mean, The Colour's All Wrong... I Mean, Who Shot The Drapes?

You Know, In The 1970's, When I Was In High School, I Belonged To A Band Called The Happy Funk Band. Until An Unfortunate Typo Caused Us To Be Expelled From School.