I Am Blind -- But I Am

I Have Learned From My Mistakes, And I Am Sure I Can Repeat Them Exactly

I Saw An Advertisement The Other Day For The Secret Of Life. It Said "the Secret Of Life Can Be Yours For Twenty-five Shillings. Sent To Secret Of Life Institute, Willesden." So I Wrote Away, Seemed A Good Bargain, Secret Of Life, Twenty-five Shillings. And I Got A Letter Back Saying, "if You Think You Can Get The Secret Of Life For Twenty-five Shillings, You Don't Deserve To Have It. Send Fifty Shillings For The Secret Of Life."

I Am Blind -- But I Am Able To Read Thanks To A Wonderful New System Known As 'broil' . . . I'm Sorry, I'll Just Feel That Again.

I Am Very Interested In The Universe - I Am Specialising In The Universe And All That Surrounds It.

You Realize That Suicide's A Criminal Offense. In Less Enlightened Times They'd Have Hung You For It.