How To Fool Yourself Into Feeling Younger:

They Almost Had To Cancel The Oscars Tonight Because All Of The Designers And Stylists Are Still In Line In San Francisco Trying To Marry One Another.

I Think Anyone Who's Perfectly Happy Isn't Particularly Funny.

[when Told That Her Grandchild Had Her Nose:] I Didn't Get This Nose Until I Was Thirty-four.

I Lived To Be On Stage, And I'm Terrified. Terrified Before Every Show.

I Use A Smoke Alarm As A Timer.