For The First Time In History, Sex

Studies Show American Students Are Becoming Less Proficient In Math. Experts Say We Should Have Seen This Coming, But Nobody Could Put 2 And 2 Together.

Ex-convicts Prepared The Eggs For The White House’s Easter Egg Roll. It’s Nice To See The White House Reaching Out To Former Members Of Congress.

Today The United States Has Admitted That After Months And Months Of Searching, We Still Have No Idea Where Osama Bin Laden Is. Osama Bin Laden? We Can't Even Find Kenneth Lay.

The Military Said We'll Be Able To Confirm Saddam Is Dead With Dna Testing. Apparently We Have A Sample Of His Dna. So Monica Lewinsky Is Working For The Cia?

The Other Day The Plane That Barack Obama Was On Had Some Mechanical Difficulties And Was Forced To Land. Well, The National Transportation Safety Board Did An Inspection On The Plane, And You Know What They Found? The Bolts On The Plane Were Fine, But Apparently Jesse Jackson Had Taken Some Of The Nuts Off.