Find Me Any Performer Anywhere Who Isn't

Everybody I Meet In Public Seems To Want To Audition For Me. If I Ask A Guy What Time It Is, He'll Sing It To Me.

When Turkeys Mate They Think Of Swans.

Never Use A Big Word When A Little Filthy One Will Do.

There Was This Billy Goat At A Movie Studio Who Found And Ate A Can Of Film. When A Nanny Asked Him How He Liked It, He Said, "it Was All Right But I Liked The Book Better."

I Get Sick Of That Old Rationalization, "we're Staying Together Because Of The Children." Kids Couldn't Be More Miserable Living With Parents Who Can't Stand Each Other. They're Far Better Off If There's An Honest, Clean Divorce.