Comedy Is A Man In Trouble. And

People Say, "how Would You Like To Be Remembered?" I Don't Want To Be Remembered. Gimme A Break. What I Want Is To Hear What's Great About Me Now. Let Me Hear It! In The Box You Don't Hear These Eulogies.

I've Had Great Success Being A Total Idiot.

If You're An Old Pro, You Know How Well You're Doing When You're Doing It, And Your Inner Government Spanks You If You're Not Doing Well.

You Might As Well Like Yourself; Just Think About All The Time You're Gonna Have To Spend With You.

When I Was Onstage Doing The Work, Adrenaline Killed The Pain Because I Never Hurt In Front Of An Audience.