As Long As You're Remembering Baby Jesus,

They Keep Saying That Sea Levels Are Rising An' All This. It's Nowt To Do With The Icebergs Melting, It's Because There's Too Many Fish In It. Get Rid Of Some Of The Fish And The Water Will Drop. Simple. Basic Science.

I Sometimes Wonder How We're Short Of Cod. There's Gonna Be A Load Deep Down That Are Hiding. But It's A Good Reason To Put The Price Up, And It Means A Load Of People Will Have Haddock. They Should Tell People They're Running Out Of All Sorts. Make 'em Panic A Bit.

Normally You Can't Hear You're Own Voice Because You're Talking Over It.

The Great Pyramid Is Overrated. It's A Bad Design. The Lounge Is Going To Be Huge, But The Bedroom Is Going To Be Tiny.

Happiness Is Like A Cake: Have Too Much Of It And You Get Sick Of It.