Alcoholic: Anybody Who Drinks More Than I

There Comes A Time In The Affairs Of Man When He Must Take The Bull By The Tail And Face The Situation.

The Funniest Thing A Comedian Can Do Is Not Do It.

It Ain't What They Call You, It's What You Answer To.

If I Ever Found A Church That Didn't Believe In Knocking All The Other Churches, I Might Consider Joining It.

I've Never Hit A Woman In My Life. Not Even My Own Mother.