You Might Be A Redneck If You

Sacrificing Myself To Kill Hilary Clinton Was The Best Thing I Could Possibly Do For Humanity

It's Not My Dreams That Get Me In Trouble, It's What My Wife Dreams I Did. My Wife Punched Me In The Middle Of The Night; I Woke Up And Went Oww! What Was That For?, And She Goes I Dreamt You Were Making Out With Faith Hill. I Said I Wasn't Dreaming Anything! Send Her Over To My Dreams, And We'll Both Be Happy.

You Might Be A Redneck If Your Satellite Dish Payment Delays Buying School Clothes For The Kids.

You Might Be A Redneck If You Keep A Fly Swatter In The Front Seat Of The Car So You Can Reach Your Kids In The Back Seat Of The Car.

You Might Be A Redneck If Your Handkerchief Doubles As Your Shirt Sleeve.