You Might Be A Redneck If You

It's Not My Dreams That Get Me In Trouble, It's What My Wife Dreams I Did. My Wife Punched Me In The Middle Of The Night; I Woke Up And Went Oww! What Was That For?, And She Goes I Dreamt You Were Making Out With Faith Hill. I Said I Wasn't Dreaming Anything! Send Her Over To My Dreams, And We'll Both Be Happy.

Talking With Gary Busey Is Kinda Like Sex. You Want To Do It, You Just Don't Want To Be Alone When You Do It.

You Might Be A Redneck If The Antenna On Your Truck Is A Danger To Low Flying Airplanes.

Nowadays You Can't Even Spank Your Kids. No, Gotta Give 'em A Time Out. My Dad Would Take Time Out Of His Busy Day... To Whip Our Ass.

You Might Be A Redneck If Your Dog Can't Watch You Eat Without Gagging.