You Might Be A Redneck If You

If You Ever Start Feeling Like You Have The Goofiest, Craziest, Most Dysfunctional Family In The World, All You Have To Do Is Go To A State Fair. Because Five Minutes At The Fair, You'll Be Going, 'you Know, We're Alright. We Are Dang Near Royalty.'

You Know That You Are A Teacher When You Spend More Money On School Stuff Than You Do On Your Own Children.

If The Gas Pedal On Your Car Is Shaped Like A Bare Foot, You Might Be A Redneck.

We Really Didn't Have The Option Of Being Couch Potatoes When I Was Growing Up. There Were Only Three Television Channels And The Only Kid's Programming Was On Saturday Morning. We Always Played Outside Until We Could Hear Mom Calling Us (not By Cell Phone But With Her Hands Cupped Around Her Mouth) That It Was Dinner Time.

You Might Be A Redneck If Your Sophisticated Show-biz Cousin Is A Rodeo Clown.