You Might Be A Redneck If You

Have You Ever Seen People So Ugly That You Have To Get Someone Else To Verify It?

You Might Be A Redneck If Your Momma Calls You Over To Help, Cause She Has A Flat Tire On Her House.

The Only Negative About Doing Stand-up Is That You're On The Road By Yourself. When You're On The Road With Comics We Just Crack Each Other Up Every Night Going, "can You Believe They're Paying Us To Do This? They're Crazy.

Ladies Have Come Up With All These Expressions To Reassure Men. "oh, Honey, It's Not The Size Of The Ship, It's The Motion Of The Ocean." That May Be True, But It Takes A Long Time To Get To England In A Rowboat.

If You Think 'loading The Dishwasher' Means 'getting Your Wife Drunk', You Might Be A Redneck