You Look Like A Horse In A

I Get A Phone Call Once Every 18 Months From Some Mad Person Who Wants Me To Do Something For Less Than No Money And They Give Me About A Week's Notice. That's My Film Career, Most Of The Time.

I'm Just A Guy Who Happens To Work In Public From Time To Time. I've Built A Reputation As An Established Comic, Not As A Celebrity - A Celebrity Is Someone Who Is Famous But Doesn't Do Anything.

I've Got Better Things To Do Than Read Rubbish About Myself.

You Know What You Are? You're A Beard With An Idiot Hanging Off It.

Why Do I Even Dare To Think I Could Dream I Could Imagine I Could Hope?!