You Know What Keeps Me Humble? Mirrors!

We Named All Our Children Kid. Well, They Have Different First Names, Like Hey Kid, You Kid, Dumb Kid . . .

My Body's In Such Bad Shape I Wear Prescription Underwear.

Just Because I Have Rice On My Clothes Doesn't Mean I've Been To A Wedding. A Chinese Man Threw Up On Me.

My Recipe For Dealing With Anger And Frustration: Set The Kitchen Timer For Twenty Minutes, Cry, Rant, And Rave, And At The Sound Of The Bell, Simmer Down And Go About Business As Usual.

If I Wore A Peek-a-boo Dress, It Would Be Like Turning In A False Alarm.