You Can't Cure Your Own Cancer, Obviously,

What You Come To Discover Is, It Isn't How You Get There, It's That You Get There. If That's What It Took To Get Me Where I'm At Today, So Be It.

I'm Not Wearing A Golden Sombrero.

The Paramedic Called The Press And Sold Me Like A Loaf Of Bread. This Was News, And He Wanted To Be The One To Report It.

There Was This One Time In Vegas When I Took Four Victoria's Secret Models And Did One Gram Off Each Of Their Bodies Within, Like, 45 Minutes. I Declared Myself King Of Vegas And Decided To Remodel My Hotel Room With My Bare Hands To Resemble King Louis Xiv's Bedroom At Versailles. Knocked Down Two Entire Walls, And Later Had Four Knuckle Surgeries. Still Wasn't As High As Rob Ford.

You Should Have Read The Directions Before You Showed Up To The Party.