You All Know Newt Gingrich. Newt Is

Humans Are The Only Animal Who Can Have Sex Over The Phone.

Hookers In Times Square, God Bless 'em, Are Offering A Mitt Romney Special. For An Extra $20 They'll Change Positions.

Donald Trump Is Attacking President Obama's Background. And I Said, 'wait A Minute, Trump Also Is From A Mixed Background. He's Half Jack And Half Ass.'

Halloween Is The Beginning Of The Holiday Shopping Season. That's For Women. The Beginning Of The Holiday Shopping Season For Men Is Christmas Eve.

I Pulled A Hamstring During The New York City Marathon. An Hour Into The Race, I Jumped Off The Couch.