With My Old Man I Got No

I Found There Was Only One Way To Look Thin: Hang Out With Fat People.

I Was An Ugly Kid; When I Was Born, After The Doctor Cut The Cord, He Hung Himself.

With Girls, I Don't Think Right. I Had A Date With One Girl, She Had Mirrors All Over Her Bedroom. She Told Me To Come Over And Bring A Bottle. I Got Windex.

If Sex Is A Pain In The Ass, Then You're Doing It Wrong.

To Me, Viagra Is The Same As Disneyland. You Wait An Hour For A Two-minute Ride.