Why Should We Tell Kidnappers, Murderers, And

Many Of You Have Asked Why It's Taken Me So Long To Select A Running Mate. I Have No Intention Of Reaching Into The Political Grab Bag And Grabbing Any Man To Be My Running Mate. I'm Going To Reach In And Grab A Woman!

In Opposition To Sex Education: Let The Kids Today Learn It Where We Did - In The Gutter.

I Read An Article That Said One In Five Americans Thinks Elvis Is Alive. I Want To Find Those Morons And Get Them Registered To Vote For Me.

Now That My Wine Has Been Served In The White House, Why Not Me? Who Could Talk To Farmers Better Than I? Somebody Even Asked Me The Other Day If I Had Anything In My Platform About Taxes. 'hell Yes,' I Said. 'great State. But I Wouldn't Want To Live There.'

I Want To Caucus In Iowa. I'll Caucus All Over The State. I Don't Caucus In California. You Don't Caucus Where You Live. It Doesn't Look Good.