Whenever I Wear Something Expensive It Looks

Now, The Country Is In A Terrible State, And You've Blamed It On A Number Of Things: Unemployment Rate, The Value Of The Pound And All That... Wrll, It's Because The National Anthem Is Boring.

I've Always Been Fascinated By The Difference Between The Jokes You Can Tell Your Friends But You Can't Tell To An Audience. There's A Fine Line You Have To Tread Because You Don't Know Who Is Out There In The Auditorium. A Lot Of People Are Too Easily Offended.

Whenever I Wear Something Expensive It Looks Stolen.

A Mate Of Mine Has Just Told Me He's Shagging His Girlfriend And Her Twin, I Said How Can You Tell Them Apart, He Said "her Brothers Got A Moustache!"

I Don't Have Wild Dogs Chasing People With Scripts Away From My Door. I Get My Share. I've Done Okay. But I Usually Do Independent Stuff Because That's Mostly What I'm Offered.