When Someone You Love Is Hurting, If

Stop It, Stop Lighting Your Butthol On Fire, And Everybody Listen To Me. If You Light Your Ass On Fire, I Hope You Have Boxers Or A Filter Of Somekind, Because If Your A Bareass Person. Not A Lot Of People Have Done This. Stop It. This Is Why. You Can Cauterize Your Asshole Shut, So When You Fart It Has Nowhere To Go And You Can Have A Fart Attack.

Around Comics, I've Always Been Known For, Oh, That's Not Dirty, This Is Dirty.

Full House Was A Show That Was Done For Ten-year-olds. The Critics Hated It. They Said Terrible, Terrible Things About It. But It Should Have Been Reviewed By Ten-year-olds. That's Who It Was Made For. They Loved It. And If They Loved It, Great. Why The Hell Does A Fifty-year-old Guy Working At A Big Newspaper Have To Tell Me I'm A Piece Of Crap?

It's Okay To Get Stoned, As Long As Its Not By Other People.

My Haircutter Figured Out I Whine Less If I'm Under General Anesthesia. I Just Hope When I Awaken They Haven't Given Me A Brazilian Wax.