When Someone Describes Themself As A Taxpayer,

Suicide Is The #1 Killer Of A Person Who Is In A Boat And Happens To Be Passing Under A Bridge At The Wrong Time.

You Never Forget Your First Kiss. And That's What Makes It So Hard To Forgive My Uncle.

Earrings Are The Same As Sneezes: Two Is Okay, But Ten In A Row Is Annoying. If You Have Two Then, God Bless You.

But I Found That Disappointing People Is A Good Thing, Because Disapproval Is Freedom.

A Know-it-all Is A Person Who Knows Everything Except For How Annoying He Is.