When I Used To Gamble, I Looked

When A Man Retires, His Wife Gets Twice The Husband But Only Half The Income.

I Never Pray To God To Make A Putt. I Pray To God To Help Me React Good If I Miss A Putt.

Golf Is The Only Sport That A Professional Can Enjoy Playing With His Friends.

Somebody Give Me A Banana. I'm Playing Like A Monkey, So I Might As Well Eat Like One.

After All These Years, It's Still Embarrassing For Me To Play On The American Golf Tour. Like The Time I Asked My Caddie For A Sand Wedge And He Came Back Ten Minutes Later With A Ham On Rye.