What A Doctor I've Got - He's

My Doctor Told Me To Watch My Drinking. Now I Drink In Front Of A Mirror.

I Joined Gamblers Anon., They Gave Me 2 To 1 I Wouldn't Make It! I Joined Aa, There Was A Two Drink Minimum!

This Morning When I Put On My Underwear I Could Hear The Fruit-of-the-loom Guys Laughing At Me.

Once I Opened Up A Fortune Cookie And Inside Was The Guy's Cheque Next To Me I Said Hey Buddy I Got Your Cheque He Said Thanks.

When I Was A Kid I Got No Respect. The Time I Was Kidnapped, And The Kidnappers Sent My Parents A Note They Said, "we Want Five Thousand Dollars Or You'll See Your Kid Again."