Turn Up Your Hearing Aid 'grandpa', Because

If Someone Spreads Hate Then They're Not Your Religious Leader.

Am I Proud Of Being Straight? No. You Know Why? Because If I Start Acting Proud, That's Going To Make Me Seem Kind Of Gay.

Forgot To Live-tweet The Election Last Night, So I'm Post-tweeting Today. I'll Start As Soon As My Fingers Unclench From Their Rage Fists.

We Don't Have To Look For What The Next Thing Will Be. If Experience Is Any Judge, It'll Come Flowing Toward Us Like A River.

I Don't Want Someone Shoving His Views Down My Throat, Unless They're Covered In A Crunchy Candy Shell.