To The Pessimist The Light At The

I'm A Double Bagger. Not Only Does My Husband Put A Bag Over My Face When We're Making Love, But He Also Puts A Bag Over His Head In Case Mine Falls Off.

I Hate Housework! You Make The Beds, You Do The Dishes And Six Months Later You Have To Start All Over Again.

I Have To Tell You That It's Not Going To Be Easy. Take Every Chance And Every Opportunity That You Can. Don't Say 'i Can't' Or 'i Shouldn't' Or 'i'm Too Tired.'

If You Don't Go To Broadway, You're A Fool. On Broadway, Off Broadway, Above Broadway, Below Broadway, Go! Don't Tell Me There Isn't Something Wonderful Playing. If I'm Home In New York At Night, I'm Either At A Broadway Or An Off Broadway Show. We're In The Theater Capital Of The World, And If You Don't Get It, You're An Idiot.

There Is Not One Female Comic Who Was Beautiful As A Little Girl.