Tigers Love Pepper...they Hate Cinnamon.

My Name Is Zach Galifianakis And I Hope I'm Pronouncing That Right. I'm Named After My Granddad, My Middle Name. My Name Is Zach Granddad Galifianakis.

I'm The Most Mellow Person Offstage. I Think It's Just, Going Onstage Lets Me Get Out Some Frustration That I'm Too Shy To Do In Real Life. Instead Of Doing It In Private, I'd Rather Do It In Front Of 1,000 People Who've Paid $25 To See Me Lose My Mind.

I Watch A Happy Person Doing Stand-up, And I Go, "what The Hell Is This? This Person's Happy!" You Need Internal Conflict. You Need The Guy To Be Out Of Step With Society. It's A Tool For Comedy.

My Headshot Is A Scratch And Sniff, It Smells Like Failure And Onions.

I Try To Write Three Jokes Every Day. I Don't Sit Down And Write Them, It's Just Things That Pop Into My Head. Then I'll Go Watch It Fail Onstage That Night.