My Headshot Is A Scratch And Sniff,

I've Always Been Attracted To Sad. If You Look At Woody Allen Movies, He's Often Playing A Sad Clown, And It's Always Been Interesting. And Angry Clown Is Even More Interesting.

My Stand-up Is More Like How I Am In Real Life. I Don't Really Do A Character Thing In Stand-up. It's Just A Bunch Of Sentences That Are Supposed To Be Funny.

My Name Is Zach Galifianakis And I Hope I'm Pronouncing That Right. I'm Named After My Granddad, My Middle Name. My Name Is Zach Granddad Galifianakis.

I Used To Be Really Cute. I Could Send You Earlier Photos Where I'm Stunning. But I've Gained About Twenty Pounds Over The Past Two Years, And The More Weight I've Put On, The More Success I've Had. If You Drew A Diagram Of Weight Gain And Me Getting More Work, A Mathematician Would Draw Some Conclusions From That.

I Am Not Into Publicity. I'm Not Good At It. I Get Anxiety About It.