They Said I Ignored The Drug Problem.

Actually, My Wine Was Served At The White House Twice. Reagan Must Have Been Asleep When He Ordered It.

I Admit I Do Have Some Drawbacks And Limitations As A Candidate. Although I Am A Professional Comedian, Some Of My Critics Maintain That This Is Not Enough. I Cannot Deny That I Stand Before You Untested And Inexperienced - I Only Spent Two Years In Television, Never As A Romantic Lead Or A Song And Dance Man.

Now That My Wine Has Been Served In The White House, Why Not Me? Who Could Talk To Farmers Better Than I? Somebody Even Asked Me The Other Day If I Had Anything In My Platform About Taxes. 'hell Yes,' I Said. 'great State. But I Wouldn't Want To Live There.'

On The Issue Of Inflation, I Think I Could Solve It No Matter How Much Money It Took.

I'm Often Asked Why I Travel Around The Country Talking Politics. Is It For Humanitarian Reasons, Community Spirit, Or Is It For The Money, The Limousines Or The Girls? The Answers Are: No, No, Yes Yes Yes!