There Is Not A Man In America

Comedy Is Merely Tragedy Happening To Someone Else.

I Never Drink Water Because Of The Disgusting Things That Fish Do In It.

It Is Well To Remember That There Are Five Reasons For Drinking: The Arrival Of A Friend, One's Present Or Future Thirst, The Excellence Of The Cognac, Or Any Other Reason

Never Cry Over Spilt Milk, Because It May Have Been Poisoned.

I Never Smoked A Cigar In My Life Until I Was Nine