There Are Two Golden Rules For An

Movie Music Is Noise. It's Even More Painful Than My Sciatica.

I Prefer Offenbach To Bach Often.

It Is Quite Untrue That British People Don't Appreciate Music. They May Not Understand It But They Absolutely Love The Noise It Makes.

A Soprano In Massenet's Don Quixote Complained That She Had Missed Her Entry In The Aria, "because Mr. Challiapin Always Dies Too Soon." "madam, You Must Be Profoundly In Error," Said Sir Thomas, "no Operatic Star Has Yet Died Half Soon Enough For Me."

There Are Two Golden Rules For An Orchestra: Start Together And Finish Together. The Public Doesn't Give A Damn What Goes On In Between.