The Reason You Often Get In Comedy

If You Want To Dry Hump Someone You Don't Know, Just Act Like They Were Choking.

I Was Thinking How Strange It Is That Water Is One Of The Best, Simplest Things On This Planet, And Still With A Simple Glass Of Water You Can Neutralize So Many Of The Greatest Technological Advances That We Provide. Like With My Blackberry, I Can Get In Touch With So Many People, But If I Dip It In A Small Glass Of Water I'm Completely Disconnected.

I Like Birthdays. Every Time Someone Is Born, That's Just Like Bringing More Cake Into The World.

A Musical Is The Same As A Burlap Sack, I Would Not Want To Be In Either

I Think It's Cool When An Ex-girlfriend Becomes An Xl Girlfriend.