The Punt Returner Got Smacked Like Nancy

Nervous? He's Tighter Than Pat Buchanan's Sphincter Muscle At A 4th Of July Soiree On Fire Island.

Jack Kerouac Was Cool Because He Had No Idea He Was.

Then People Ask Me If I'm Worried About The Effects Of Global Warming On My Kids. Well, Obviously I Love My Kids And I Want Them To Live To Be A 100. So That's Another 1.8. My Kids' Kids? Three Point Six. I'll Just Tell Them We Moved To Phoenix.

That Secondary Provides Worse Coverage Than A Guatemalan Hmo.

Elected Office Holds More Perks Than Elvis' Nightstand.