The Only Reason I Would Take Up

When Humor Go's, There Go's Civilization.

Never Lend Your Car To Anyone To Whom You Have Given Birth.

Phrases And Their Actual Meanings: My Teacher Has Never Liked Me. Expect A Phone Call Before Lunch From The Teacher Informing You That Your Child Has Been Launching Hot Dogs By Compressing Them Inside A Small Thermos And Then Removing The Lid Quickly.

I've Never Vied For Power In The Family Before. Pointing A Box At The Garage Door And Saying "open!" Was Never A Big Deal, But Holding That Television Tuner And Realizing I Alone Control What Is Flashed On The Screen Brings Out The Iacocca In Me.

Cats Invented Self-esteem; There Is Not An Insecure Bone In Their Body.