The More Ignorant You Are, The Quicker

Golf Is Good For The Soul. You Get So Mad At Yourself You Forget To Hate Your Enemies.

You Can't Legislate Intelligence And Common Sense Into People.

The Minute You Read Something That You Can't Understand, You Can Almost Be Sure That It Was Drawn Up By A Lawyer.

Well, Another Senator Rose And Said {as They Always Do} 'does The Gentleman Yield?' They Always Say That - Least They Call Each Other 'gentleman' In There. But The Tone They Put On The Word, It Would Sound More Appropriate If They Came Right Out And Said 'would The Coyote From Maine Yield?' 'cause That's About The Way It Sounds. Well, Then, The Other Senator Says 'i Yield' (for If He Don't The Other Guy'll Keep On Talking Anyhow). So The Coyote From Maine Says 'i Yield To...the Polecat From Oregon!'

A Politician Is Just Like A Pickpocket; It's Almost Impossible To Get Him To Reform.