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Senator John Kerry Released His Plan Today To Eliminate The Deficit. He Said All We Have To Do Is Find A Really Rich Country Like Switzerland And Marry It.

It’s Being Reported That The Economy Lost 95,000 Jobs In September. And That’s Just People Leaving The White House.

The New York Times Is Reporting That Back In The '60s, Presidential Candidate Howard Dean Used A Letter From A Doctor About A Back Condition To Keep Himself Out Of The Draft In Vietnam And Then Spent 10 Months Skiing. Well It Sounds Like He's Done The Impossible. He Actually Made Bill Clinton And George Bush Look Like War Heroes.

Astronomers Have Discovered A Planet That Is Twice The Size Of Earth And Made Of Diamonds. President Obama Says The Planet May Be Inhabited By Aliens Not Paying Their Fair Share.

The Economy Is So Bad That Bedbugs Are Now Infesting Sleeping Bags And Tents, Because They Can't Afford To Stay In Hotels Anymore.