The 99 Cent Only Store Is Calling

People Don't Mind If You Have A Lot Of Money If They Know You're Working For It.

According To A New Un Report, The Global Warming Outlook Is Much Worse Than Originally Predicted. Which Is Pretty Bad, When They Originally Predicted It Would Destroy The Planet.

The White House Is Now Urging Americans Not To 'read Too Much' Into Last Week's Jobs Report. In Fact, They Said It Would Be Best If You Didn't Read It At All.

They Said That President Bush's War In Iraq Has Cost The Former Spanish Prime Minister His Job. So President Bush Isn't Losing American Jobs Anymore, He's Branching Out To Other Countries.

Yesterday Gary Condit Spent The Whole Day Attending An Agricultural Meeting. Boy, That's When You Know A Congressman's In Real Trouble: When He Spends The Whole Day Actually Working.