The First Girl You Go To Bed

My Mother Paid Eight Dollars A Month For Rent. When She Had It. Mostly We Were Evicted, Because She Couldnt Afford To Pay The Eight Dollars A Month.

I Always Had One Ear Offstage, Listening For The Call From The Bookie.

I Could Play A Cop, I Could Play A Crook, I Could Play A Lawyer, I Could Play A Dentist, I Could Play An Art Critic-i Could Play The Guy Next Door. I Am The Guy Next Door. I Could Play Catholic, Jewish, Protestant. As A Matter Of Fact, When I Did The Odd Couple, I Would Do It A Different Way Each Night. On Monday I'd Be Jewish, Tuesday Italian, Wednesday Irish-german-and I Would Mix Them Up. I Did That To Amuse Myself, And It Always Worked.

The First Girl You Go To Bed With Is Always Pretty.

My Doctor Gave Me Six Months To Live, But When I Couldn't Pay The Bill He Gave Me Six Months More.