The Day You're Born, You Get The

The Young Man Who's Had The Guggenheim Fortune Behind Him All His Life - He Can Hire All The Authorities On The Subject To Teach Him How To Do A Monologue, But He's Never Going To Have The Right Stuff To Pull It Off. If He Doesn't Walk Out Onstage Needing To Walk Out There, He Doesn't Have A Dream Of Doing Well.

Pity? You Don't Want To Be Pitied Because You're A Cripple In A Wheelchair? Stay In Your House!

You Might As Well Like Yourself; Just Think About All The Time You're Gonna Have To Spend With You.

I Have Some Very Personal Feelings About Politics, But I Don't Get Into It Because I Do Comedy Already.

If I've Learned Anything In The More Than 50 Years That I've Led Mda, It's That The Generosity Of The American People Knows No Bounds. I'm Sure That With Their Fellow Citizens In Such Dire Need, They'll Dig Deep And Do Everything They Can To Help. I'm Hopeful That Many People Will Be Willing To Make Two Phone Calls And Donate To Both Causes.