The Best Way To Ruin A Comedy

We Should Make Politicians Dress Like Race Car Drivers -- When They Get Money, Make Them Wear The Company Logos On Their Suit.

The Latest Report Is That Osama Bin Laden Has Shaved His Beard, Is Wearing Western Clothes And Has Had Plastic Surgery. Isn't That Amazing? The Guy Has Made Just Two Videos And He's Already Gone Hollywood.

The White House Has Finally Found One Guy That Kinda Remembers Serving With President Bush In The National Guard. Now They Just Need To Find Someone Who Remembers Bush Working On An Economic Plan. ... I Think The White House Spent More Money Looking For This Guy Than Finding Weapons Of Mass Destruction.

Congratulation S To Rahm Emanuel On Being Elected Mayor Of Chicago. His First Order Of Business After Taking Office Will Be To Actually Move To Chicago.

When You Work With Your Hands, You Learn To Appreciate How Easy It Is To Earn Money Talking.