Thanksgiving Is The Day When You Turn

He Has Been Greatly Missed Since His Retirement ... Thank God For Videotapes And Dvds. In This Regard, He Will Always Be Around.

Nothing, Believe Me, Nothing Is More Satisfying To Me Personally Than Getting A Great Idea And Then Beatin' It To Death.

Did You Hear About This Genius That Got On A Plane And Set Fire To His Feet? Turns Out He Had Bombs In His Shoes And The Problem All Started When The Flight Attendants Asked Him Nicely To Extinguish His Feet. He Was Wearing Exploding Sneakers. The New Nike Air-jihads!

The Night Before The Olympics Opening Ceremony, My Son, Who Is Eight Years Old, Gets Very Excited And Likes To Put Out A Plate Of Cookies And Some Milk For Bob Costas.

I Think O.j. Protests Too Much. Not Only Did He Say He Didn't Carve The Holiday Turkey, But He Was In The Back Yard Practicing His Golf Swing The Whole Time.