So, I Sit At The Hotel At

The Customer’s Always Right.

I Think Bigfoot Is Blurry, That's The Problem. It's Not The Photographer's Fault. Bigfoot Is Blurry, And That's Extra Scary To Me. There's A Large, Out-of-focus Monster Roaming The Countryside. Run, He's Fuzzy, Get Out Of Here.

I Don't Know How To Fix A Car. If The Car Breaks Down, And The Gas Tank Does Not Say "e", I'm Screwed. But If The Gas Tank Says "e", I Get All Cocky - "i've Got This One, Don't Worry." So I Get Out The Toolbox Aka Wallet.

Magicians Disappear All The Time, But As Soon As A Regular Person Does It, Everyone Is All Scared. "tom's Gone!" "is He A Magician?" "no." "then Let's Print Up Some Flyers!"

I Like It When People Come To See Me Again, But You End Up Playing To That Person Only. You Know There's Other People Out There, But You Also Know That The Person Who Came To See You Again Is There. You're Like, "i Hope He's Happy Again."