Self-pity Is Better Than None.

I'm Beginning To Have Morning Sickness. I'm Not Having A Baby, I'm Just Sick Of Morning.

Have The Man At The Station Put The Air In The Tires. I Did It Once Myself. Have You Ever Seen A Car With A Limp?

Cleaning Your House While Your Kids Are Still Growing Up Is Like Shoveling The Walk Before It Stops Snowing.

They Always Say To Californians That We Don't Have Seasons. Of Course, That Is Not True. We Have Fire, Flood, Mud And Drought.

Actually, I Comb My Hair Quite Often. Of Course, I Use An Electric Toothbrush.