Scotland Has The Only Football Team In

Why Are There No Windows In The Toilets On Aeroplanes? To Protect You From The Most Dedicated Perverts On The Planet, Hanging Off The Wing To Get A Peep?

Don't Buy One Of Those Baby Intercoms. Babies Pretend To Be Dead. They're Bastards, And They Do It On Purpose.

I Was Brought Up A Catholic, For That You Get An A Level In Guilt.

I'd Never Consciously Left Home To See A Zombie Movie. They Were Fine By Me, But I Had No Intention Of Ever Being In One. But I've Been Learning More About It As I've Been Doing Interviews. I Didn't Even Know There Were Specialist Zombie Magazines And Clubs. I Heard The Other Day That A Radio Station Had Asked People If They`d Made Preparations For An Attack By Zombies, And A Staggering Number Of People Replied Yes!

I've Been A Poser For F--ing Years. I Say, Pose Your Arse Off. You Know, Have A Laugh.