One Time I Went To A Hotel.

There's Only One Thing Wrong With My Wife's Face - It Shows.

My Wife Is Such A Bad Cook, If We Leave Dental Floss In The Kitchen The Roaches Hang Themselves.

With Me, Nothing Goes Right. My Psychiatrist Said My Wife And I Should Have Sex Every Night. Now, We'll Never See Each Other!

I Came From A Real Tough Neighborhood. Once A Guy Pulled A Knife On Me. I Knew He Wasn't A Professional, The Knife Had Butter On It.

Guy Goes Into A Bar With A Duck Under His Arm. Bartender Says, "where'd You Get The Pig?" Guy Says, "this Is A Duck." Bartender Says, "i Was Talking To The Duck."