[on Plastic Surgery:] When I Die, God

Always Be Nice To Your Children Because They Are The Ones Who Will Choose Your Rest Home.

I Was The World's Ugliest Baby. When I Was Born, The Doctor Slapped Everybody.

My Husband Is So Useless That It's Hard For Me To Be Romantic With Him. I Get Down On The Floor And Say, If You Love Me, Blink Your Eyes.

My Doctor Is A Family Physician. He Treats My Family And I Support His.

Tranquilizers Work Only If You Follow The Advice On The Bottle - Keep Away From Children.