Of The Many Horrors Of Divorce, The

Sampling, Statisticians Have Told Us, Is A Much More Effective Way Of Getting A Good Census.

My First Lessons In Comedy, How To Construct A Joke, I Learned From Eileen Brennan, Who Had Unbelievable Timing.

All The Shows We Did Pre-airdate, And I'd Come Out - "rob Lowe!" - And It Was [offers Bored Applause.] After The Show Aired? I Came Out - "rob Lowe!" - And The Place Was, Like, Bedlam. And Then The Next Week, They Wouldn't Let Anyone Under The Age Of 20 Into The Audience. And I'm Going, "so That's How It Works! Okay!"

Mostly People Are Interested In How Somebody Becomes An Actor. And Then, If They've Had A Couple Of Drinks, They Want To Know What Demi Moore's Like Or Whatever. I Mean, I Don't Mind People Asking That At All, But When You've Answered It Five Times...

When I Was A Teen Idol, I Was So Goddamn Pretty I Wouldn't Have Taken Myself Seriously.